I choose to focus on the abundance of good that exists in the belief that focusing on it will eventually result in a better outcome. It's like telling a puppy how good she is for bringing you the socks that have been left on the floor for the500th time. Not because you want her to pick up your husbands socks for him, but because she looks so proud of herself for having brought them to you and she doesn't argue when you ask her to hand them over. She doesn't look happy about it, but she doesn't argue. I'm not thrilled about it myself, but I'm beginning to think I should teach her to put them into the dirty clothes hamper.