...a way of seeing beyond inner and outer.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

"Don't make any major decisions"

     This is advice my husband gave me years ago when, in the middle of a midweek meltdown, I decided everything in my life needed to be revamped, overhauled, discarded, burnt down, "agent orange"d, turned into a nuclear wasteland, etc. you know, so I could rebuild.
      There was a time in my life when I regularly acted on those ultimately self-destructive instincts and the end result was almost never good. In fact, in golf parlance, I often waned a mulligan.  Sadly, nothing works that way and damage is done.
     What I have learned is that there are times one should not make major decisions. Here are a few examples of inadvisable life planning moments, and feel free to help me add more.  I'd like to avoid denuding my life and will accept any and all help in this regard.
  • During a fire or any sort of natural disaster
  • In the middle of childbirth, natural or otherwise.   
  • Right after you open an IRS  audit letter
  • When you find out your child has had their tongue pierced.
  • When your wife's best friend decides to give you a lap dance
  • After two martinis and after one, it's still not an ideal time.
  • If you suspect mother nature is adjusting your hormone levels.
There is a solid argument to be made for the menses hut aka the "moon lodge"  Who wouldn't want a week alone with the girls where men weren't allowed and you didn't have to cook?  I think I'm going to build a moon lodge out back. I'd be shocked if my husband objected.
Any of these would work.

Either that or I'm getting this for my tragically perfect and 
extraordinarily long-suffering husband
From the NYTimes


  1. If you have not read The Red Tent by Anita Diamant, I highly recommend it.

  2. I like the way you think! :)

    I had a college prof who told me that the days when the whole world is going down the toilet are not the days to make life altering decisions. UNLESS the toilet days start to outnumber the non-toilet days.... then it's time to run for the hills.

  3. Lura, I have not and I will. I love a good book and given the suggested topic, it's already a good book!

  4. Mrs. G.,
    indeed and you'll know it's time to grab your rubber waders and start climbing when you're rubber boot deep in the craptacularity of it all.

  5. Ah, here where I live, women do get that kind of time off, but unfortunately its forced! No fun believe me.

  6. I want one! and I can't believe my DH would object either. Another time not to make life decisions - after being diagnosed with anything life changing...

    ICLW #12

  7. I love the idea of a menses hut....a purely voluntary one, of course ;)

  8. C,
    I hadn't thought of that. Seeing the world from outside my limited view is one of the gifts that comes from blogging. Thank you for giving me that.

  9. Jenni,
    You are so right and thank you for taking the time to visit cookedheads.

  10. I second the recommendation for The Red Tent!

    I love all those tropical ones. I'd like my own little house and not just for the moon time either! haha

    My hub's man hut just got wired a couple of weeks ago. maybe I should take it over...

  11. Lesa,
    I am going to read it. In fact, I seriously need a break from WoT and you absolutely should take it over!

  12. Don't burn out on WoT!! Take as long a breather as you need-- WoT isn't going anywhere.

    I might cause I don't see him staying out in it enough to suit me! hahahahahaa

  13. Amen.. i'm thinking a coat of pink paint could be your "flag"

  14. I'll take door Number One, please. And don't jump the gun when you ask your husband to describe his perfect day...and it doesn't include you.

  15. hahahah! GG.
    me too as far as my dream "hut" and as far as my husband's dream, I'm smart enough not to ask those sorts of questions and he's smart enough to lie if I do *grin

  16. I think I'll build a Moon Lodge, too! Sounds pretty awesome. Especially one of those tropical huts in the photos....

  17. No harm done :) We've been married 32 years. He knows a good thing when he has it. And he's tragically near perfect, too.

  18. I try NOT to make any life-altering decisions in general. Seriously. I can't handle them anymore! I'm just trying to go with the flow instead...

  19. Ameena,
    You just might be brilliant. Your comment reminds me of a the proverb, "You plan. God laughs."
    Major decisions are usually met by the Universe with "Yeah, I'll take that under advisement." after which they're promptly ignored.

  20. i agree with all the times life altering decisions shouln't be made but i'd rather not make any life altering decisions i somehow can't take too much change at once.

    i would love to build a moon ledge, something like the first one in the pics but it looks isolated. i'd still prefer to build one in our backyard when we move into a house.


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