...a way of seeing beyond inner and outer.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

No cookie for you!

I have issues with men that need to be addressed. In fact, I'm beginning to think one of my assignments is to do exactly that then move on because men are starting to get on my nerves.

While not yet a reality I'm willing to accept, middle age is no longer someone else's reality entirely. I'm assured, repeatedly via shiny card stock mailers that the local plastic surgeon could remedy this, I'm softer than I should be in places and if that and my age weren't enough to keep my ego in check, beautiful store-bought women are so thick around here, you could stir them with a stick, but even with all that evolutionary deterrent,  men appear to want my attention, and I am very unhappy about this recent development.

When a waiter sings to me, or boys tell me they watch me leaving, I instantly jump to predator/prey mode, where I'm the running bunny leaving little puddles of frightened bunny piddle as I flee... not literally, yet....

This is what lay at the bottom of the funk of last week, because as I lose weight ( thank you french friend ), I begin to attract attention from the other gender. This is not a good thing as far as I'm concern, it's certainly not a wanted thing, but it's happening and so I began to withdraw into the safety of my smaller world, reeeeeeeally  believing it was a case of ennui.  No. I was pretty much a coward and have been since I was thirteen when a boy who like me brought me a soda.  I sobbed in horror.  Maybe even still am pretty much a coward or at the very least, definitely leanings towards cowardice. Until now, I accepted that about myself.  No more.

The other day when I was getting on with it all, outside myself, onward and upward,  a thought occurred to me in reference to this growing phenomena. I could think in terms of being a mother figure to these men, these boys, meaning, be in the "heart" of having the same adoration for them a mother might, because since I have no sexual interest in them, the only other male female relationship I know how to "do" is mother/son.  
and I think, "yes, maybe that can be the solution.  if they respond in a way I don't want, i'm still their mother... knowing what they really want and need....  love, approval, reassurance,  a nap, a hug, even a time out, but what they don't need is a cookie... especially not MY cookie."
These I'm more inclined to hand out along with a glass of milk and a lecture on why you're not supposed to scare the almost little almost old lady.
my new favorite bad thing

Whole Wheat Milk Chocolate Macadamia Nut Shortbread

  • 1 3/4 cups white whole wheat  flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 cup salted butter
  • 1/2 cup white sugar
  • 1 T light brown sugar
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
  • 1/ cup chopped macadamia nuts
  • 1/2 cup milk chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 300F
Combine flour and soda in bowl. Set aside.   In a stand mixer bowl, cream sugars, butter and vanilla until light and fluffy.   Scrape down the side.  Add flour mixture, nuts and chocolate until dough comes together.  There may be some loose bits in the bottom but that's fine. You're going to knead it a bit.  After you do, and the dough forms a cohesive mix, then chill for half an hour. for into slight larger than tablespoon size balls and form into flat disks with your hands.  Place on cookie sheet. Bake for 20 minutes 
Makes 27 1 1/2 inch X 1/4 inch cookies.  


  1. You, hottie, you!! You need to get over this aversion and wallow in all the attention!!

    If you must be something other than a femme fatale, how about the big sister-- doesn't sound so old as mother and you can still boss and berate if necessary.

    I can't believe you have been moping about this!!! But I'm a floozie... so don't listen to me!


    the cookies sound yum!!

  2. Yum, that shortbread looks divine. I love anything with macadamia nuts in them.

    Funny, I've been getting LOOKS too after a big drought due to constant wearing of sweats and glasses. It's been kinda fun to have a waiter call me "Miss" instead of "Ma'am".

  3. Lesa,
    I can't believe I was moping about this either! I didn't really even know I was until I started not wanting to go out and began to wonder what its source was. Crazy.

  4. JJ,
    eegads...the dreaded ma'am. may as well start rockin' the mom jeans.

  5. ...and Lesa,
    the older sister thing might have merit, but it would have to be "much" older/"the boss of you" sister.
    wait.. control issue alert!

  6. I look way younger than my 32 years, and well when a guy who looks no more then 18 passes a comment or gives me the look, I cant help but laugh lol...I enjoy it actually lol..makes me feel younger he he he.

  7. C,
    I am clearly in the minority on this and this just tells me ever more that I need to get over this and start enjoying one of the perks of being female!

  8. Mae West said: It is better to be looked over than overlooked!!!

    I love Mae West!

  9. I'm beginning to think I'm missing out on something here, that may require a pushup bra and some lip gloss. Sadly, all my bras already are pushup, because the alternative unspeakable and lip gloss makes me feel like I've got petroleum syrup on my lips

  10. What a wonderful dilemma -- losing weight and looking fine. Just get over it!! I have :) I've never had a weight problem, but started growing my hair out a little for a reunion last year--one last ditch effort before I have to go short again forever. I'll be 55 this year and the compliments never get old--my dental hygenist thought I was in my 30's. (Hmmm...maybe this has something to do with my mid-life crisis.)
    Just hold your head high, but not your nose, and say thank you :)

  11. Good for you, Tracy!
    You should definitely be proud.
    Soak it up, babe!

    You could always send them my way and we could see what happens. :P Just kidding...Sorta...

  12. Jeff,
    HA! wonderful reply.. and you know I will!


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