...a way of seeing beyond inner and outer.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

The for real Real Housewives of Orange County

Now, I know for a fact I cannot be the only married woman in Orange county California to out, as in, expose, the "Real" ones, but I personally wouldn't have had the nerve to do so until they started tearing out each others extensions and buying plastic surgery procedures from megalomart.  But really, why wouldn't the stereotypical, much maligned housewife? Bulk buying is bulk buying, not that The Real housewives do that sort of thing either, but neither do I. See? Me. An OC HW.
    However,  I am a real housewife of Orange county who, between job/dog/man/job/man generated dinner party/children/car dealership retardation/children's cars/job/what's for dinner/dry cleaners who you hope can do something with the wine you spilled on your husbands YELLOW (what is it with this color and me lately? ) linen shirt because you decided to wear it as a shirt dress. *sigh )/Businessville/Dad, I need a few dollars, you know, in between all the stuff one has to do keep all the balls in the air, I decided cookies needed to be made. They're for a client. What can I say?
  I do live in Orange county, however, I do not have staff, and  I do not live behind a gate ( please don't stalk me ). Cookies means, me, in the kitchen, in an apron, hurrying. See? Pretty? No?  Well, they're full of butter. They don't have to be pretty. Sort of like a rich man doesn't have to be pretty.

     Being from Orange county, I have to own shoes like the the ones to the right and I have be able to cover much ground/go up and down hills in them but as funny as it would be to say I did, I did not wear them when I baked, because there were a couple ibuprophen the day after those shoes and I'm not insane which brings me to a little more "for real"
     At one point I said I wanted to be Paul Dean's daughter. I believe in butter.  A lot of butter, but I don't believe it all belongs on my sitdownish bits and I've decided since cooking is so much work and so many people are so much better at it than me, I should let them help.  It's not any better to make a money off your own suffering than it is to make money off other peoples suffering, which is why I didn't go to law school and won't become a stock broker.  I do believe in butter, but I also believe in my barefeet, in the kitchen, in not being pregnant ( please don't get me pregnant ..i'm 47. i couldn't handled it. ) and as of today, I believe in cake mix...  and champagne. Actually, I've believed in champagne for a while.
They weren't my clients so they got cake mix cookies. Does that make me a bad person?
There is a proof reading position open at cookedheads if you'll work for processed cheese slices, bulk butter and champagne.    Take over the world, Pinkie...


  1. ...er.. i have a cousin i love who's a lawyer. he's just a better man than me. plus he's the good kind.

  2. ...mmm, cheese slices and champagne...I'll have to think seriously about applying for the position..
    (cookies look good no matter how they're made..)
    p.s.I fixed the link from my blogroll..it didn't work earlier because I can't copy/paste very well..

  3. Maureen,
    Me. Again. With the laughing. You've definitely found my crack up. As to the blogroll/gift, I'm just thrilled you wanted to do it. Even if you never copied and pasted it very well, I'd be pretty much thrilled.

  4. Tracy,
    I followed you all the way to Orange County.
    LOVE your blog.I am now an avid Tracy muchness fan & follower.
    You definitely should submit something to my website...FAST. I need a great short for May first. Please reconsider & put yourself out there, girl.

  5. To the Universe at large, to the Georgia Girls in order and to Elsie who finally pushed my lingering languishing slackerd-self into the direction of creation:
    "a'ight a'ight, a'ight". That, by the way, is not an original thought and you do have to say it three times for it to be binding. I know this because they're the three words I get from my husband when I've beaten him into submissive with a flawless counter argument.

  6. You have my day off to a very happy start. I'll be smiling for the remainder of the morning. I'll bet your cookies are fantastic. Does the champagne go in them or the cook? Just askin'. Have a great day. Blessings...Mary

  7. Mary,
    I'm very glad to hear that and you know exactly how good it feels to give that to someone.
    As to the champagne in the cookies or the cook question,definitely in the cook, but it now occurs to me that cake mix cookies could not in any way lose respectability with the addition of champagne. In fact, going forward, I think they could definitely use a little liquid...

  8. I raise my empty wine glass to you! And um, because I am a loser with such things, is there any way to get email notifications of your new posts?

  9. Heather,
    I post pretty much every day, and I'm not sure how you're reading the posts, but if you read them by going directly to cookedheads.blogspot.com, at least on my screen, once you open the comment box, I think the option "Subscribe by email" is for that purpose, but it may just be to the comments. If you try that and it doesn't turn out to be what you're trying to do, let me know and I'll do a little digging.

  10. There is a momentous moment in the history of cooked heads and I thought I'd share it with those of you curious enough to find it.
    My husband, Flynn has never read a single blog post, despite the fact that I have invited him to do so repeatedly.
    Today he read this post and his comment was,
    "Who is Paul Dean". He works for processed cheese, bulk butter and scotch. Close enough.

  11. Hi Tracy and thanks for seeking out my blog! And welcome too. Loving your very dry sense of humour here ~ not surprised to see that my beloved Heather from lost in provence is already a follower, too. Your dry wit would appeal!!

  12. BlueFruit,
    Ditto! Back! I'm glad you're enjoying it and isn't Heather a delight. Oh my yes, I like that girl's blog too to say nothing of the goodies I'm finding in yours. You may as well know right now, I'm pretty serious about extracting a large amount of inspiration from BlueFruit...t


I love to know what you think, "for the Sake of Blessed Connection and Exquisite Controversy"