...a way of seeing beyond inner and outer.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Rider's block.

The video below is the match strike for this post

I've absent from the blog for a few days and there hasn't been a really good reason other than the thought of coming here and whining about nothing does not appeal, and truly, it would be whining about nothing because the past few days have been as good as any I've ever experienced.  They haven't been reality t.v. worthy, but I'm yet to find reality t.v. to be worthy of its own hype, even the ones based in lives of excess everything.
Several years ago, I had a smart internist who would spend a lot more time with her patients than I wanted her to, but she was holistic in her approach to health so a yearly phsyical was only half physical.  The other half was asking about my life and how I was doing in it.   She was motherly and I found myself telling her things that I didn't even want to tell myself, like,
"Everything's fine. I'm just bored with life." 
Talking about whining..  
She used a word I can't now remember, but it after she used it and saw the blank expression on my face, she said,
"It basically means an absence of joy."
Ah.  See, that I get, and more to the point, that I have, even though I firmly believe joy is all around me and my lack of it is only a result of not tapping into it.  This is all me, not "life".
I smiled when I watched the video above, a genuine, all by myself smile and I wondered why, because I'm not willing in this moment to "fix" the blockage I'm experiencing.  Maybe I'm experimenting with a go with the flow mentality that goes alone with the advise my husband gave me about major decisions.  The problem is, there isn't any flow and now I'm looking at the situation and have decided to do something about it.  What that something is, is the question.  

To be continued...  and I for one can hardly wait because this is not as much fun as life should be.

<br /> <a href="http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/building-waves/20hjzhqt?q=Surfing&amp;rel=msn&amp;from=en-us_msnhp&amp;form=msnrll&amp;gt1=42010&amp;src=v5:embed:&amp;fg=sharenoembed" target="_new" title="Building Waves">Video: Building Waves</a>


  1. Don't worry about not blogging-- this your space to blog or not-- whine or not. I miss your posts when you don't blog but know you aren't here just for my entertainment. ;o)

    Read a book-- go to a flea market-- people watch-- try out a recipe-- try something completely foreign to your same-o same-o--get your mind off dwelling on joy and maybe you'll find yourself in a joyous place.

    Do I make any sense? I know what I mean but I may sound incoherent

  2. Lori over at Write Mind Open Heart, someone who is excessively good at finding and appreciating joy, told me today that doing so is really hard. It is. I'm working on trying out mindfulness to see if it helps me. Don't worry about blogging...it will come to you when you're ready. And we'll all be here waiting :)

  3. It's never too late to have a midlife crisis -- join me this year to find your fire an passion, too :) Try something totally new and different.


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