I have issues with men that need to be addressed. In fact, I'm beginning to think one of my assignments is to do exactly that then move on because men are starting to get on my nerves.
While not yet a reality I'm willing to accept, middle age is no longer someone else's reality entirely. I'm assured, repeatedly via shiny card stock mailers that the local plastic surgeon could remedy this, I'm softer than I should be in places and if that and my age weren't enough to keep my ego in check, beautiful store-bought women are so thick around here, you could stir them with a stick, but even with all that evolutionary deterrent, men appear to want my attention, and I am very unhappy about this recent development.
When a waiter sings to me, or boys tell me they watch me leaving, I instantly jump to predator/prey mode, where I'm the running bunny leaving little puddles of frightened bunny piddle as I flee... not literally, yet....
This is what lay at the bottom of the funk of last week, because as I lose weight ( thank you french friend ), I begin to attract attention from the other gender. This is not a good thing as far as I'm concern, it's certainly not a wanted thing, but it's happening and so I began to withdraw into the safety of my smaller world, reeeeeeeally believing it was a case of ennui. No. I was pretty much a coward and have been since I was thirteen when a boy who like me brought me a soda. I sobbed in horror. Maybe even still am pretty much a coward or at the very least, definitely leanings towards cowardice. Until now, I accepted that about myself. No more.
The other day when I was getting on with it all, outside myself, onward and upward, a thought occurred to me in reference to this growing phenomena. I could think in terms of being a mother figure to these men, these boys, meaning, be in the "heart" of having the same adoration for them a mother might, because since I have no sexual interest in them, the only other male female relationship I know how to "do" is mother/son.
and I think, "yes, maybe that can be the solution. if they respond in a way I don't want, i'm still their mother... knowing what they really want and need.... love, approval, reassurance, a nap, a hug, even a time out, but what they don't need is a cookie... especially not MY cookie."
These I'm more inclined to hand out along with a glass of milk and a lecture on why you're not supposed to scare the almost little almost old lady.
|my new favorite bad thing|
Whole Wheat Milk Chocolate Macadamia Nut Shortbread
Preheat oven to 300F
Combine flour and soda in bowl. Set aside. In a stand mixer bowl, cream sugars, butter and vanilla until light and fluffy. Scrape down the side. Add flour mixture, nuts and chocolate until dough comes together. There may be some loose bits in the bottom but that's fine. You're going to knead it a bit. After you do, and the dough forms a cohesive mix, then chill for half an hour. for into slight larger than tablespoon size balls and form into flat disks with your hands. Place on cookie sheet. Bake for 20 minutes
Makes 27 1 1/2 inch X 1/4 inch cookies.