...a way of seeing beyond inner and outer.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Hang Ten

The gift/curse of blogging is that there are witnesses.  There's a contract to tell the truth with yourself and, of course, with anyone who reads what you're writing otherwise, why bother.  So, fifteen minutes after being honest about my "rider's" block, aka mental stagnation,aka not giving much of a damn about much, I started this post, because simply whining isn't enough for me.It doesn't make me feel better. I'm whining because I want a solution and towards that end, I begin the process of starting my day, dedicated to seeing what the solution is.

The Universe has a sense of humor.  It's a parental sense of humor.  You tell your parents you're bored and they give you chores.  That sort of thing.
So, this post pops up from a blogger I follow who, like me, is using the macro of the internet to crunch his internal numbers.  In this case, he goes to the other side of the continent and finds himself outside his own head.  I really want to be outside my own head.
Then it happens. I know and it almost feels like remembering something I already knew. (thank you again ,Jeff)  Once I decided to follow, I was able to go to a few places that had been weighing on the cracked bits of my brain and I was able to go there happily.

  • I went to the big store that always seems to come with its own crush of people eager to slam their carts into yours, or to stop in the middle of the isle with their huge and doubtless fun for kiddie carts while they compare canned tomatoes so I could make soda bread, but I took the long way, the one that goes along the ocean. (Thank you Lesa )
  • I got off my rear.  Joy is as much work as riding a wave is. The work started with a pile of clothes that was once a single moment of "later" and turned into a  clothes cone large enough to have its own gravitational force. General order, peace of mind and domestic beauty followed.  I also took a break, from blogging for a few days. To ride joy, you have to do the stuff it takes to stay there in a physical sense and you have to give your internal critic the shove off so it can't push you off the wave.  (Thank you JJ)
  • I worked on a couple of  long walks and a bike ride through the undeveloped chaparral trail not far from our house because sometimes, going off the trail you've ground into the dirt is the only way to see yourself as whole rather than by the labels you're using to tell yourself your own story, and it is just a story.  ( thank you Jeff, again again).
  • I bought a red sports car, and am on the hunt for someone half my age with whom to have a torrid extra marital affair. Kidding. But what I did do was decide I was old enough to mother the world. I'll explain later. (thank you GG)
  • And finally,slightly more than a few days later, I remembered what is fun to be, and you may punctuate that any way you'd like. ( thank you maddening internal critic for reminding how far you are from fun and thus pushing in towards the good bits.)


  1. I love this: "Joy is as much work as riding a wave is." I'm guessing you surf ;)

  2. You are totally my surfing buddy. =) Seriously.


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