Local Yokel

I’m from Texas but live in the anti-Texas. I still say y’all, drop consonants, and add a syllable to the word yes when under duress, or if I’m trying to make a point.  It used to make me self conscious and I tried to hone my diction to fit in better but like the lemon slice vs. the brioche debate, I’m over it.   Now I don’t want anything but exactly what I want. 
My dream is to be rail thin, of independent means and a part-time Parisian.   So far I’m o for o but I also have a deepening conviction that I can have what I decide I want.  Call it delusion or faith. The lines blur either way.  So does reality.
1) The weight is going to take a while, provided “a while” is code for “ forfreakinever”. 
2) Judging from the size of the check I just wrote to the IRS, they aren’t interested in increasing my personal wealth.  If anything, they appear opposed to the idea,  ( I’d add what I would consider humorous commentary here, but I enjoy the fruits afforded me by remaining a non-felon and it’s been my observation that the IRS is the anthropomorphic personification of humorless. )   and I get to spend this afternoon resolving a difference of opinion with my insurance company.  Don’t get me started on the small matter of mortgage increase and salary reduction.   Wheeeeeeee!  
3) There is  no packed bag at the front door holding  an airline ticket, my passport and the rental agreement for a tres chic appartement Parisien, nor will there be in the foreseeable future.
Depressing & True.  But there is another angle. 
1) I have lost a couple lbs.  If I do what has been fairly painless in a wash-rinse-repeat fashion, the weight will come off and this time next year I’ll be sitting at my computer covering a much smaller area of the chair.    Right now, I can’t even see chair.  Depressing &&&&  True.  But I’m other angling.  It’s also 11:00am and I haven’t face dived into anything unhealthy.  That alone is blogpostable.
2) I bought a lottery ticket.  This one is the winning one, unlike the last few I bought.  Denial may not be a river in Egypt but it’s certainly a stream of consciousness.
3) There are things about where I live that I like about Paris

a)  open air markets
b)  beautiful architecture
c) good food
d) art
c2) good food
e) window shopping  ( the real thing is not IRS, Bluecross, Fannie Mae or salary approved )
f) historically relevant locations  ( Paris is old. The Brea tar pits are older but I’m more about pretty than historically relevant )
f) pretty
c3) good food.

‘nough said, y’all